*Note* Sorry about the incredibly large videos

 

 

Writers block is a hell of a thing. Knowing you have to write something. Not knowing what to write, and having it have to be about a certain topic…crickey just shoot me in the face.  It’s a funny thing too, because usually it happens for a reason, a supernatural, or internal subliminal way of telling yourself “Hold on fat boy, the answer is literally right in front of your face.”

 

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I now present to you…Paul’s favorite video game cupcakes?

 

I haven’t been gaming that much recently, so when I had a deadline to write a gaming article, I may as well have thrown doo-doo at my monitor and said “Here ya go!” But then, I did the thing so many of us forget to do,  and took a minute to look around. I noticed that between work, family, and comic books I just didn’t have time to game in the last few weeks. And then like Thor’s mighty hammer smacking me right in the grundle, my article came to fruition.

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Right…in…the area between your ball sack, and asshole. (For The Newbs)

 

DeadpoolPK’s Top Five Comic Book Video Games.

Understand before reading this, most newer games are garbage compared to the classics, just based on what a game is supposed to be, and to me that means an interactive, challenging narrative.  The button mashers of today (Injustice, Deadpool, Arkham City) though great didn’t make this lists cut. Once you understand that, and that this is merely my own opinion we both can get along.

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Back in my day, we had to play video games for 40 miles, in the snow. Up hill, both ways.Sorry for being grumpy. My catheter bag is full 🙁

 

 

5.)  Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Arcade

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Real Men…

 

Yes this game is a button masher, however unlike today’s forgiving games for babies with unlimited lives and respawn points matching the point of death, if you died in TMNT Tough Shit. You had to have a pocket full of quarters just to reach the final boss (The OG and forgotten microtransaction), and if you ran out of money the game taunted you with the infamous “Quitters Never Win” slogan.

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Oh…you thought you could beat this game without spending a fortune? Fire fuck time.

 

4.) Maximum Carnage

Listen to this.

 

 

Okay, now imagine that band making the entire soundtrack for a video game. Its pure genius. If I didn’t have such a rock hard boner for Chrono Trigger, the 16bit thumping of Green Jelly would have my vote for best video game music ever. Every level, every boss  the score just got better and better.

 

 

Seriously, just listen to this!

Also mind you that this was released during the same period as the symbiote storyline in Spiderman. Playing as Venom was every prepubescent boy’s dream come true!

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Obviously, the symbiote storyline transfers beautifully to all forms of media

 

3.) Comix Zone

This game was tough. It was so tough that I don’t think I ever beat the first level. Then what the fuck is it doing so high on this list?! That’s simple, find me another game that has you literally fighting panel to panel in a comic book. You can move up, down, left, right, all over the pages of a comic. The story isn’t original, a comic book artist gets transported into his own comic book (Cool World anyone?) but as a video game, this is still one of the most original concepts I have come across to date.

 

 

2.) Ultimate Spiderman

This one was a tough one to choose. There are plenty of Spider-man games out there, and the majority of them are just pure shit. Two stand out above the rest, Spiderman 2: The Game, and Ultimate Spider-man. I chose Ultimate over Spidey 2 however, because well semantics really, Ultimate Spider-man is based on a comic book…Spider-man 2 is based on a movie. This was the first Spider-man game I can recall that actually let you feel like Spider-man, web slinging your way through each burrow of New York City. Seriously if that was the only aspect of the game, it would still  be better than every Spider-man game out there. But it offered so much more, it had the same humor and style as the Ultimate Spider-man Comic, cameos from all your favorite heroes, and battles with all of your favorite villains. I liked this game so much that I didn’t even care about the cameo from the weird cyborg game show host, Ultimate Deadpool.

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“You mean they some how make me worse?! THEY GIVE ME SWORD ARMS AND LASER EYES?!”

 

Not to mention, the cell shading in this made you feel like you were literally in control of the characters in the comic book.

 

1.)  X-Men Legends 2: Rise Of Apocalypse

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While Ultimate Spiderman, made you feel like you were in control of a Spiderman comic, X-men Legends made you feel like you were in control of a world changing event in the Marvel Universe. Though time nor universe is specified, the plot borrows from the Age of Apocalypse story. Using cell shading again, made the images pop and feel like an actual comic book. Besides that, it allowed the player to control and level up four characters simultaneously; exposing players to mutant powers they could only dream of using in a video game. What put this at number one on my list was the attention to detail each mutant received. My own shining example of this is Jean Grey.  As one of the most powerful characters in comic books, X-men Legends didn’t cut her short. A fully upgraded Jean- Grey was able to walk into a room, lift every enemy up at the same time using her psi powers and casually dump them off the edge of the map, as if it were nothing. This power was later reduced to almost useless in the not as good sequels Ultimate Alliance, and Ultimate Alliance 2.

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God Mode Enabled

 

Other controllable fan favorites in this game were, Wolverine and Cyclops (of course), Gambit, Deadpool, Iron Man, Sunfire, Bishop, Rogue, Nightcrawler, and many more. This game was anything but a letdown to comic book fans.

About The Author

Rapidly approaching middle age @DeadpoolPK

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