It was pretty much the apocalypse here in Atlanta last week. If you walked through the grocery store, you’d more than likely encounter people rushing between the picked-over aisles, desperately collecting whatever canned foods they can get their hands on. In the dairy section, there’s a family of 4 clinging to the last gallon of 1% milk as ravaged shoppers descend upon them. Loaves of bread had become the new currency, and some were even selling their first-born for a chance at a whole wheat dinner.

No, zombie’s haven’t invaded — we just faced a few inches of snow and ice.


Thank God we have Twitter to document the end of days.

In honor of work being cancelled, the roads being blocked, and the city completely shutting down, I decided to take on the ultimate challenge; the one thing that has stumped gamers for ages and prevented many from fulfilling their dreams. Yeah, I’m talking about tackling my backlog.

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t have an entire backlog of games just waiting to be finished. Life is hectic. As much as we wish we did, we just don’t have time to sit around all day and play video games… until there’s a state of emergency.

With the Governor, President, and millions in the metro area prepping for what can only described as The Snowpocalypse, I’d taken to sitting my ass in front of my television and gaming. The challenge was easy: find 10 games in my backlog and finish them within the 3 day allotment. These included either finishing the campaign, 100%ing, or in more sandbox-oriented games, finishing the larger task at hand.

Dawn of the First Day

1. Far Cry 3

Far Cry 3 - Twisted Tuesday 13

I’ve played through Far Cry 3 more times than I care to admit, so this wasn’t entirely a game I would say needed to be in my backlog. Finishing the storyline on every difficulty, I suppose you could say I really enjoyed the game — hell, even the co-op was somewhat enjoyable with the right people.

Having even completed the DLC quests and hunted every animal on the island, only one task remained: 100% completion. I’m not usually one for achievement hunting, but Far Cry 3 is a pretty simple game to nab all achievements. I think the worst achievement was actually winning enough money in poker — you can only ‘all in’ so many times before you’re in the negative. On the bright side, I reset all the outposts on my last play through — liberating those suckers is probably my favorite part of the game. Sadistically shooting people in the face with rifles is what I do best.

2. Botanicula

Screen Shot 2013-08-19 at 2.37.09 AMI picked up this little gem a few months back during an Humble Indie Bundle sale and was automatically enamored with it. Botanicula is one of the most enchanting point-and-clicks I’ve ever played. The sound design is out of this world and the aesthetics are mind-blowingly unique. The simple nature of the game mixed with a plethora of fun little puzzles gives it a massive replay value.

Can we also take a second to talk about how the game’s premise is totally f’ed? That’s some dark shizz, ya’ll. The entire game centers around five little botanical creatures who are attempting to save the last seed of a tree from evil parasitic creatures that have infested their home. From the outside, the game is really cutesy and lighthearted, but then BAM! EVIL INVADING SPIDERS KILLIN’ ALL YO SHIT! Still, the game showcases a great contrast between dark and light and proves to be something quite spectacular.

3. Saints Row IV

Far Cry 3 - Twisted Tuesday 19Superpowers, Presidency, and the return of the Dildo Bat — Saints Row IV was everything I could ever want from a video game. I finished all the loyalty quests for my ‘homies’, so I was treated to a decent ending, although it was somewhat lackluster — except for meeting Jane Austen’s cryogenically frozen body. The only thing I regret was not dressing my character like Mr. Darcy.

I think my favorite part about Saints Row IV was the superpowers. You character is constantly OP and it makes for an absurdly fun gaming experience. Jumping from rooftop to rooftop to find data clusters didn’t feel like a monotonous task and clearing flash points gave me a great excuse to kick the living shit out of everything.

Dawn of the Second Day

4. Minecraft

There’s really no finishing Minecraft. You can mine your heart out and ride a pig ‘till the cows come home, but you’ll never really beat the game. The great thing about Minecraft is that the creativity is endless; however, this is often the downfall. I always imagine building these magnificent structures, grand landscapes, and kinky dungeons. Sadly, I never finish anything I start – until now. Feast your eyes on my Pyramid of Doooooooom. (Complete with sex dungeon.)

Screen Shot 26Don’t worry, it’s bigger on the inside. While its outward appearance is slightly off-putting, I implore you to visit my temple. If you’re into sacrificing virgins, lounging on an artificial beach, or you’re just curious to see a villager and a pig get it on, then I welcome you. Mi casa, su casa.

Screen Shot 21I’ve been planning this little lady since last year, but I’ve never had time to sit down and finish. The pyramid itself took quite a while to construct, and the addition of torches lining the interior took longer than I’d care to admit. I took the liberty of adding a sacrificial stadium, an underground library, and tunnels to connect with the other facilities on my island. It’s like the underground railroad except far less historically beneficial.

5. Grand Theft Auto V

Ain’t no party like a stripper selfie party.

I’m not gonna lie — I don’t think I would have finished the entire storyline if it wasn’t for the snow storm. Ever since acquiring the game, I’ve been playing online like crazy. Honestly, there’s nothing like throwing a sticky bomb on a player trying to flank you via parachute.

I did, however, really enjoy the entire storyline. Having the option to eventually switch between 3 different playable characters was quite an interesting innovation for such a large game. The level of absurdity hit an all-time high in this entry into the franchise, and I’m unsure of where GTA VI will go. (Well, if it goes.)

The online aspect of the game is some of the most fun I’ve had in a while, and the endless customization options to your character and vehicles makes for an interesting experience. I joined up with a few friends and started a 40 member crew, and now we dominate the streets — as well as make absolutely absurd racing maps. If something isn’t blowing up every 5 seconds, you’re not doing it right.

6. The Dishwasher: Vampire Smile

Far Cry 3 - Twisted Tuesday 7Button-smashing hack-and-slash is definitely one of my favorite genres, and it’s no secret why — I’m a spazz. So, naturally, the Xbox Live Arcade game The Dishwasher: Vampire Smile was right up my alley. I’ve had this game sitting in my backlog for over a year, and it finally feels amazing to have finished it. I thoroughly enjoyed the entire game, not only for the insanely OP characters and violence, but the story was kind of neat as well.

I also enjoyed the fact that the game came equipped with more than just a story mode. The Dishwasher Challenge was especially awesome. The all-out mayhem that ensues is outrageous, and the insane amount of points you earn makes you feel somewhat accomplished. Not to mention you can use Cloud’s sword to viciously rip apart your enemies. It’s a win-win.

7. Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag

assassins-creed-iv-black-flag-harpooningOh, boy. I had almost given up all hope for Assassin’s Creed. After II, I really felt as if the franchise was headed into the typical game limbo — the place all over-run series go to die. Black Flag’s entry into the franchise is a welcomed experience in my book, and I’ve never had so much fun steering a ship for 40 hours.

The storyline itself was a little whack, but the gameplay really made up for it. Coming off of a disappointing AC III naval experience, I had some serious doubts about how a naval-centered pirate game would turn out. Between harpooning majestic animals, destroying every single ship that crossed my path, and sometimes doing something assassin related, I don’t think I’ll ever doubt Ubisoft’s power to completely turn a franchise around.

Oh, and don’t even get me started on the serious bromance and gender-swapping elements of the game. God, I love pirates.

Dawn of the Final Day

8. Gears of War

gears1-2Yeah, I had never played a Gears game until it was free on Xbox Live. I know, I know — I can hear you sighing at me through the screen. I’m not a real gamer, you guys.

I was pleased to have the assistance of my life-long co-op partner Cab as I made my way through the game. I started off on hardcore mode, not wanting anything to be too easy — but also not wanting anything too insane for a first play through. While it took me a long while to actually get used to the controls of the game — and to also stop complaining about the freaking roadie run — I ended up completely falling in love with the game.

The co-op option makes it a fun and challenging experience for gamers, and the storyline is surprisingly interesting. The boss battle at the end was insanely fun — General Raam proved to be a damn formidable foe. Torque-bowing him in the face felt too good.

9. State of Decay

1StateofdecaybiggunZombies are a thing, right? They’re totally a thing.

State of Decay took Xbox Live Arcade by storm last year due to it’s unofficial “It’s like GTA but with zombies!” tagline. It’s one of the highest selling XBLA games ever, and I’m pretty sure I’m going to replay it about 3 more times. When I first started playing, I was instantly reminded of DayZ — the constant questing for supplies and the endless amounts of running.

The fact that some of your favorite characters can die is a great motivator to play smart, and you can spend a countless number of hours searching through the abandoned homes around the map, as well as searching for new locations to call home. The addition of abandoned cars was extremely helpful when trying to navigate the map, and let’s be honest: you used those suckers to run over hoards of zombies. Run them over, reverse, then smack the remaining zombies with an open door… a true method to success.

10. Metro: Last Light

metro-6Metro 2033 was one of my favorite games of 2010, mainly for the premise and spot-on execution. I was far too pumped for this sequel, and a little disappointed I never got around to finishing it. It’s not a terribly long game, and it’s a little underwhelming compared to it’s predecessor, but still, ya’ll — it’s a damn good game. The eery supernatural aspect of it made for an interesting addition to the WWII, post-apocalyptic feel. Exploring the metro again felt like home… in a weird, Russian, Nazis-gonna-kill-me way.

Continuity was also a big factor for me when it comes to Last Light. I really enjoyed the fact that we’re playing once again as Artyom, and that the story continues from the more canonical ending — the one where we follow through with the missile strike against the dark ones. After completing the game, ‘Last Light’ finally makes sense. If you haven’t played either game, then I’m just thoroughly disappointed. How dare you.

All in all, I really wish the apocalypse would come around more often. It feels good to somewhat lessen the load on my backlog, ya know? Of course, I’ve always acquired about 5 other games since the time of the snowpocalypse, so in the end, there’s really no winning.

Let’s take a moment to give a big thanks to Georgia, the President, and the homegirl herself, Mother Nature.

And, as always — thanks for reading, nerds.

About The Author

Head Writing Dynamo

Emily is a writer, designer, and professional sassmaster with roots in Georgia. When she's not selling her soul to the writing gods, she's researching new topics, kayaking, and annoying the general population. She one day dreams of ruling the Seven Kingdoms, and can often be found arguing with herself in the third person.

Join the Discussion!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.